Abnormous
J. Alan Nelson
My daughter says I can do nothing,
she’ll go when she’s ready, late is late,
and she’s right. Eighteen now,
she hopes never to see me again.
No threats land. No punishments bite.
My wife warns her steakhouse shifts
will end if this drags on.
Her words dissolve like cheap sauce.
I stand at the kitchen window,
watching my girl become a leaf
ripped loose in high wind,
tumbling down the block
while I’m already boxed,
a hush of bone and dust
quiet in the velvet dark.
Matter doesn’t ask permission.
It loosens, drifts, rejoins
the long shrug of time and space
where everything flares out
and everything folds in.
The tree keeps throwing new leaves.
The wind keeps practicing its theft.
I keep paying the light bill,
loading the dishwasher,
telling the dog he’s a good boy.
Here’s the joke I finally get,
grinning in the coffin of my skin:
I spent years trying to steer her
toward some version of success,
only to learn the real inheritance,
this beautiful, ordinary wreck
of showing up anyway,
loving what won’t be saved,
and vanishing on schedule
like everybody else.
About the Author
J. Alan Nelson, a writer, journalist, lawyer, actor, and a nominee for the Pushcart Prize, Best of Net and Best Microfiction. He played the lead in the viral video “Does This Cake Make Me Look Gay,” the verbose “Silent Al” in HBO’s Emmy-winning SXSWestworld,” and narrated New York Times videos on AIDS programs in Africa.
